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man Х


3

1

А давайте все напишем, какой ман мы любим больше всего!

И скопипастаем пару строчек, которые вызывают наибольшую приязнь, религиозный, эротический или эстетический экстаз.

★★★☆☆

man true

скопипастаем пару строчек, которые вызывают наибольшую приязнь, религиозный, эротический или эстетический экстаз.

«true - do nothing, successfully»

buddhist ★★★★★ ()

Ещё никто не запостил коровью суперсилу из man apt?

Lighting ★★★★★ ()

очень радуют man'ы в конце которых написано, что лучше эту штуку(про которую этот ман) не использовать

Bad_ptr ★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Bad_ptr

типа
man strtok


...
ПРОБЛЕМЫ
Никогда не используйте эти функции.
...

Bad_ptr ★★★★ ()

Побояню. man xorg.conf

Videoadaptor Section:

Nobody wants to say how this works. Maybe nobody knows ...

riki ★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от anonymous_sama

НА МАКАХ СЕКСА НЕТ

$ uname -a
Darwin zdomac.local 12.0.0 Darwin Kernel Version 12.0.0: Sun Jun 24 23:00:16 PDT 2012; root:xnu-2050.7.9~1/RELEASE_X86_64 x86_64
$ man sex
No manual entry for sex
bk_ ★★ ()
ED(1)               Unix Programmer's Manual                ED(1)

NAME
     ed - text editor

SYNOPSIS
     ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ]
DESCRIPTION
     Ed is the standard text editor.
schizoid ★★★ ()

man man

NAME
       man - format and display the on-line manual pages

dada ★★★★★ ()

Ну или это
man yum

BUGS
       There of course aren’t any bugs, but if you find any, you should first consult the Faq mentioned above and then email the mailing list: yum@lists.linux.duke.edu or  filed
       in bugzilla.

dada ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от dada

man yum
There of course aren’t any bugs

Это так толсто, что аж тонко.

shimon ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: НА МАКАХ СЕКСА НЕТ от bk_

SEX(6)                      EUNUCH Programmer's Manual                     SEX(6)



NAME
       sex — have sex

SYNOPSIS
       sex [options] ...  [username] ...

DESCRIPTION
       sex  allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) specified in the com-
       mand line.  If no users are specified, they  are  taken  from  the  LOVERS
       environment variable.  Options to make things more interesting are as fol-
       lows:

       -1     masturbate

       -a     external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option

       -b     buggery

       -B animal
              bestiality with animal

       -c     chocolate sauce option

       -C     chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)

       -d file
              get a date with the features described in file

       -e     exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)

       -f     foreplay option

       -F     nasal sex with plants

       -i     coitus interruptus (messy!)

       -j     jacuzzi option (California sites only)

       -l     leather option

       -m     masochism (see -s)

       -M     triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option

       -n     necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it)

       -o     oral option

       -O     parallel access (orgy)

       -p     debug option (proposition only)

       -P     pedophilia (must specify a child process)

       -q     quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)

       -s     sadism (target must set -m)

       -S     sundae option

       -v     voyeurism (surveys the entire net)

       -w     whipped cream option

       -W     whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)

ENVIRONMENT
       LOVERS is a list of default partners which will be used if none are speci-
              fied  in  the  command  line.   If any are specified, the values in
              LOVERS is ignored.

FILES
       /usr/share/sex/animals
              animals for bestiality

       /usr/share/sex/blackbook
              possible dates

       /usr/share/sex/sundaes
              sundae recipes

       /usr/share/sex/s&m
              sado-masochistic equipment

BUGS
       ^C     (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.

       ^Z     (stop process) is usually quite messy.

HISTORY
       Oldest program ever.



                                                                           SEX(6)
Homura_Akemi ()

man rm

NAME
       rm - remove files

SYNOPSIS
       rm [-fri] [-C[2ABCFGMRSbcfjlmnpru]] file...

DESCRIPTION
       The command rm deletes each file argument from the system.  There are a large number of options:

       -f     Forced  remove.   Unwritable files are removed without rm asking permission.  By default, rm will ask permission
              before removing unwritable files.

       -r     Recursive remove.  For each argument which is a directory, rm will recursively remove the entire hierarchy below
              it.  If this was successful, the directory itself is removed.

       -i     Interactive remove.  rm will ask permission before removing anything.

       -C     Remove  csh  files.   csh  files are those files that have an extension of .csh.  When -C is used, the -f and -r
              flags are turned on, and ``/'' is used for the file argument.

              There are a host of modifiers:

       -2     Translate csh source files to Modula 2.  The extension is changed to .m2.

       -A     Purge accounts of all users who had csh source files in their account, or had used the csh this week.

       -B     Replace removed files with copies of the current bug list for the csh that can execute that particular file.  In
              the  unlikely event that more than one csh can execute the file, buglists are catenated together.  WARNING: This
              can consume an inordinate amount of disk space.

       -C     Remove all csh shells from the system.

       -F     Flame option.  After removing files, make a posting to comp.unix.shell describing exactly how well csh works.

       -G     Replace removed files with copies of the GNU manifesto.

       -M     Mail source files to rms@mit-prep.mit.edu before removing.

       -R     Raw eggs option.  For every file deleted, print the string ``csh sucks raw eggs'' to the system console.

       -S     Script option.  Delete shell scripts that call the csh shell too.

       -b     Beat option.  Don't simply delete csh shells, beat them to death with a stick first.

       -c     Don't remove csh source files, instead convert them to C++.  The extension is changed .c++.  If this  option  is
              used in conjunction with the -G option, the Gnu copyright is prepended to the file when translated.

       -f     Force  option.   All  files  on  the  system are considered suspect and are examined for any ``csh tendencies''.
              Files containing any ``csh tendencies'' will be deleted.  This is the only way to delete makefiles for csh  pro-
              grams.

       -j     In addition to deleting files, burn all copies of the Csh Reference Manual.

       -l     Lose  option.  This can only be used in conjunction with the -C option.  Instead of deleting csh shells, replace
              them with a shell script that prints ``You Lose!''  when invoked.

       -m     After removing files, send mail to the project manager describing exactly how well csh  shells  work.   If  this
              option is used, a resume is also posted to misc.jobs.resumes.

       -n     Network  option.   Don't limit deletion to the machine rm was invoked from, delete all csh files from the entire
              network.

       -p     Pascal option.  Translate csh source files to Pascal.  The extension is changed to .p.

       -r     Run /usr/games/rogue while deleting csh files.

       -u     UUCP option.  Similar to the -n option.  Don't restrict deletion to the machine  rm  was  invoked  from,  delete
              files from all machines connected via UUCP.

FILES
       $HOME/resume             for the -m option.
       /usr/csh/bugreports/*    for the -B option.

BUGS
       There is no way to delete csh files on machines that you are not connected to.

       The -C option was written in csh, so of course it is ugly and non-portable.
Cancellor ★★★★☆ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от shimon

Ты каждый день сталкиваешься с багами yum-a ?

dada ★★★★★ ()

* has no bugs, only flies,

только не помню в мане от чего это было

Harald ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от dada

Сталкивался. А затем перешел на Ubuntu и перестал.

shimon ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Homura_Akemi
NAME
       celibacy -- don't have sex

SYNOPSIS
       celibacy

DESCRIPTION
       Does nothing worth mentioning.
Cancellor ★★★★☆ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от shimon

Чисто из спортивного интереса:
можешь вспомнить какой-нибудь ?
Я просто не сталкивался.

dada ★★★★★ ()

Чувак реально не исправлял новый год!

man route

AUTHOR
       Currently maintained by Phil Blundell <Philip.Blundell@pobox.com>.

net-tools                       2 January 2000                        ROUTE(8)

dada ★★★★★ ()

man pornview(1)

All PornView operations may be controlled with only one hand using a mouse or the keyboard arrow keys.

CYB3R ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Homura_Akemi

Странно, но у меня установлен BSD SEX, а он немного другой:

SEX(6)                         BSD Games Manual                         SEX(6)

NAME
     Sex — spout silly, random porn-like text

SYNOPSIS
     sex [-w [width]]

DESCRIPTION
     sex spouts a silly mad-lib-like random porn-style text.  Wraps text,
     optionally at width , if -w is used.

AUTHOR
     Unknown. Adopted and cleaned up by Nick Johnson <freebsd@spatula.net>.

BSD                              26 April 2001                             BSD

CYB3R ★★★★★ ()
NAME
       echo - echo arguments

SYNOPSIS
       echo [options]...

DESCRIPTION
       Echo  writes its arguments separated by blanks and terminated by a new-
       line on the standard output.  Options to filter and redirect the output
       are as follows:

       -2     generate rhyming couplets from keywords

       -3     generate Haiku verse from keywords

       -5     generate limerick from keywords

       -a     convert ASCII to ASCII

       -A     disambiguate sentence structure

       -b     generate bureaucratese equivalent (see -x)

       -B     issue equivalent C code with bugs fixed

       -c     simplify/calculate arithmetic expression(s)

       -C     remove copyright notice(s)

       -d     define new echo switch map

       -D     delete all ownership information from system files

       -e     evaluate lisp expression(s)

       -E     convert ASCII to Navajo

       -f     read input from file

       -F     transliterate to french

       -g     generate pseudo-revolutionary marxist catch-phrases

       -G     prepend GNU manifesto

       -h     halt  system (reboot suppressed on Suns, Apollos, and VAXen, not
              supported on NOS-2)

       -i     emulate IBM OS/VU (recursive universes not supported)

       -I     emulate IBM VTOS 3.7.6 (chronosynclastic infundibulae  supported
              with  restrictions  documented  in IBM VTOS Reference Manual rev
              3.2.6)

       -J     generate junk mail

       -j     justify text (see -b option)

       -k     output "echo" software tools

       -K     delete privileged accounts

       -l     generate legalese equivalent

       -L     load echo modules

       -M     generate mail

       -N     send output to all reachable networks (usable with  -J,  -K,  -h
              options)

       -n     do not add newline to the output

       -o     generate obscene text

       -O     clean up dirty language

       -p     decrypt and print /etc/passwd

       -P     port echo to all reachable networks

       -P1    oolcay itay

       -q     query standard input for arguments

       -r     read alternate ".echo" file on start up

       -R     change root password to "RMS"

       -s     suspend  operating  system  during  output  (Sun and VAX BSD 4.2
              only)

       -S     translate to swahili

       -T     emulate TCP/IP handler

       -t     issue troff output

       -u     issue unix philosophy essay

       -v     generate reverberating echo

       -V     print debugging information

       -x     decrypt DES format messages (NSA secret algorithm  CX  3.8,  not
              distributed outside continental US)

       Echo  is  useful  for  producing  diagnostics in shell programs and for
       writing constant data on pipes.  To send diagnostics  to  the  standard
       error file, do `echo ... 1>&2'.

AUTHOR
       Richard M. Stallman
Cancellor ★★★★☆ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от shimon

Это не баг, а фича.
Плагин fastestmirror был установлен наверное.
Емнип, он так себя ведёт.

dada ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Cancellor

На сорцы такого echo можно взглянуть? Боюсь, оно много весит.

CYB3R ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Homura_Akemi

У тебя фейковый секс, а у меня настоящий:

$ > sex
"At last!" moaned the nymphomaniacal bosses' daughter as the tripe-fondling faggot butler lashed her creamy bumpers and slammed his boney bowsprit into her banana stuffed tenderness. 
$ > sex
"Talk dirty, you pig!" wheezed the large-hipped female impersonator as the bicycle seat sniffing black-power advocate lashed her quivering elbows and pushed his bursting brownie into her slavering palace. 
$ > sex
"Again!" salivated the blind DARPA contract monitor as the satanic hair dresser irrigated her oozing fried eggs and squished his rigid bowsprit into her moist furrow. 
$ > sex
"What a lover!" whimpered the sock sniffing grandmother as the corpulent lecherous lickspittle bit her firm armpits and pushed his surgically altered canyon yodeler into her glistening inner ear. 
$ > sex
"No, no, do the goldfish!" laughed the nine-year-old waitress as the bicycle seat sniffing homosexual flamingo defiled her varicose lungs and pounded his rapidly dwindling member into her dripping damp. 

CYB3R ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от schizoid
DESCRIPTION
     Ed is the standard text editor.

Я не один. :)

Но у меня в дистрибутиве этот ман уже обновили...

cruxish ★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Cancellor

читать: UNIX Style, or cat -v Considered Harmful

ECHO(1)                    OpenBSD Reference Manual                    ECHO(1)

NAME
     echo - write arguments to the standard output

SYNOPSIS
     echo [-n] [string ...]

DESCRIPTION
     The echo utility writes any specified operands, separated by single blank
     (` ') characters and followed by a newline (`\n') character, to the
     standard output.  When no operands are given, only the newline is
     written.

     The options are as follows:

     -n      Do not print the trailing newline character.

EXIT STATUS
     The echo utility exits 0 on success, and >0 if an error occurs.

SEE ALSO
     csh(1), ksh(1), printf(1)

STANDARDS
     The echo utility is compliant with the IEEE Std 1003.1-2008 (``POSIX.1'')
     specification.

     The flag [-n] is an extension to that specification.

     echo also exists as a built-in to csh(1) and ksh(1), though with a
     different syntax.

OpenBSD 5.1                    September 3, 2010                   OpenBSD 5.1
beastie ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от beastie

Если немного подумать, то можно догадаться, что это руководство не относится к настоящей команде.

Homura_Akemi ()
NAME
       xkill  -  extended  kill  -  kill  processes or users, including Usenet
       posters.

SYNOPSIS
       xkill [-signal] pid ...
       xkill -l
       xkill username[@host] ...
       xkill -u [-qs] [-p] [newsgroup]

DESCRIPTION
       xkill sends a signal to a process or a terminal.  The first  two  forms
       send a signal to a process.  The functionality in this case is the same
       as kill(1).

       When the command xkill is invoked with  an  username  as  argument,  it
       attempts  to  locate the specified user on the local host.  If the user
       is logged on, the signal ECUTE (electrocute, 666) is sent to the user's
       terminal.   This  will  cause the keyboard to electrocute the user.  If
       the user is not logged on, the appropriate line of the file /etc/passwd
       is marked.  The first time the user logs on the ECUTE signal is sent to
       the terminal he is using.

       When the command xkill is invoked with a remote username, in  the  form
       user@host,  a  connection  with  the  remote  host  is  attempted  (see
       xkilld(8)), to send the ECUTE signal to the user's terminal.

USENET KILL
       The -u (Usenet) option is an extension of the concept of KILL file.

       The program will attempt to locate a remote user by scanning  the  news
       spool  area.   When the user is located, a connection is attempted with
       the appropriate host, and the ECUTE (electrocute, 666) signal  is  sent
       to  the appropriate user.  The search only considers one newsgroup.  If
       none is specified,  rec.humor  is  assumed  by  default.   The  program
       attempts  to locate people whose signature is too long, and who quote a
       whole article in order to comment on a single line.  The option -s  can
       be  used  to  consider only the size of signatures, while the option -q
       can be used to consider only the size of the  quotations.   The  option
       -qs corresponds to the default.

       When  the  -p (post) switch is used, the user is electrocuted next time
       he post news.

FILES
       /etc/passwd         to keep track of users marked for electrocution

       /etc/hosts          list of remote hosts

       /usr/spool/news     news spool directory; the news articles are  stored
                           here

SEE ALSO
       kill(1), telnet(1c), xkilld(8)

BUGS
       To  kill  a remote user, it is sometimes better to use the command tel-
       net(1c) using the standard xkilld port (number 666).  When the  connec-
       tion is attempted by xkill(1) some gateways will explode after the user
       is electrocuted.

       To decide what is a quotation, and what is a signature, a very  compli-
       cated pattern matching is used.  This does not always work, even if the
       program hasn't yet electrocuted somebody who is not guilty of bandwidth
       waste.
Cancellor ★★★★☆ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от Homura_Akemi

а, да, шутку понял, смешно ;) но в каждой шутке есть доля шутки — и из моего опыта в мире линукс подобное издивательство над echo меня совсем не удивит. это скорей всего даже ожидаемый результат.

beastie ★★★★★ ()
Ответ на: комментарий от beastie

Не волнуйтесь, в мире GNU/Linux пока не всё так плохо:


ECHO(1)                           User Commands                           ECHO(1)



NAME
       echo - display a line of text

SYNOPSIS
       echo [SHORT-OPTION]... [STRING]...
       echo LONG-OPTION

DESCRIPTION
       Echo the STRING(s) to standard output.

       -n     do not output the trailing newline

       -e     enable interpretation of backslash escapes

       -E     disable interpretation of backslash escapes (default)

       --help display this help and exit

       --version
              output version information and exit

       If -e is in effect, the following sequences are recognized:

       \\     backslash

       \a     alert (BEL)

       \b     backspace

       \c     produce no further output

       \e     escape

       \f     form feed

       \n     new line

       \r     carriage return

       \t     horizontal tab

       \v     vertical tab

       \0NNN  byte with octal value NNN (1 to 3 digits)

       \xHH   byte with hexadecimal value HH (1 to 2 digits)

       NOTE:  your  shell  may have its own version of echo, which usually super-
       sedes the version described here.  Please refer to your shell's documenta-
       tion for details about the options it supports.

AUTHOR
       Written by Brian Fox and Chet Ramey.

REPORTING BUGS
       Report echo bugs to bug-coreutils@gnu.org
       GNU coreutils home page: <http://www.gnu.org/software/coreutils/>
       General help using GNU software: <http://www.gnu.org/gethelp/>
       Report echo translation bugs to <http://translationproject.org/team/>

COPYRIGHT
       Copyright  ©  2011 Free Software Foundation, Inc.  License GPLv3+: GNU GPL
       version 3 or later <http://gnu.org/licenses/gpl.html>.
       This is free software: you are free to change and redistribute it.   There
       is NO WARRANTY, to the extent permitted by law.

SEE ALSO
       The full documentation for echo is maintained as a Texinfo manual.  If the
       info and echo programs are properly installed at your site, the command

              info coreutils 'echo invocation'

       should give you access to the complete manual.



GNU coreutils 8.12.197-032bb      September 2011                          ECHO(1)

Homura_Akemi ()
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