mysql

skip-networking закомментируй в конфиге

Не помогает:(
# The following options will be passed to all MySQL clients
[client]
#password = your_password
port = 3306
socket = /var/run/mysqld/mysqld.sock

[mysql]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets
default-character-set=utf8

[mysqladmin]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets
default-character-set=utf8

[mysqlcheck]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets
default-character-set=utf8

[mysqldump]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets
default-character-set=utf8

[mysqlimport]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets
default-character-set=utf8

[mysqlshow]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets
default-character-set=utf8

[myisamchk]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets

[myisampack]
character-sets-dir=/usr/share/mysql/charsets

# use [safe_mysqld] with mysql-3
[mysqld_safe]
err-log = /var/log/mysql/mysql.err

# add a section [mysqld-4.1] or [mysqld-5.0] for specific configurations
[mysqld]
character-set-server = utf8
default-character-set = utf8
user = mysql
port = 3306
socket = /var/run/mysqld/mysqld.sock
pid-file = /var/run/mysqld/mysqld.pid
log-error = /var/log/mysql/mysqld.err
basedir = /usr
datadir = /var/lib/mysql
skip-locking
key_buffer = 16M
max_allowed_packet = 1M
table_cache = 64
sort_buffer_size = 512K
net_buffer_length = 8K
read_buffer_size = 256K
read_rnd_buffer_size = 512K
myisam_sort_buffer_size = 8M
#language = /usr/share/mysql/russian

# security:
# using "localhost" in connects uses sockets by default
# skip-networking
#bind-address = 172.16.2.254

log-bin
server-id = 1

# point the following paths to different dedicated disks
tmpdir = /tmp/
#log-update = /path-to-dedicated-directory/hostname

# you need the debug USE flag enabled to use the following directives,
# if needed, uncomment them, start the server and issue
# #tail -f /tmp/mysqld.sql /tmp/mysqld.trace
# this will show you *exactly* what's happening in your server ;)

#log = /tmp/mysqld.sql
#gdb
#debug = d:t:i:o,/tmp/mysqld.trace
#one-thread

# uncomment the following directives if you are using BDB tables
#bdb_cache_size = 4M
#bdb_max_lock = 10000

# the following is the InnoDB configuration
# if you wish to disable innodb instead
# uncomment just the next line
#skip-innodb
#
# the rest of the innodb config follows:
# don't eat too much memory, we're trying to be safe on 64Mb boxes
# you might want to bump this up a bit on boxes with more RAM
innodb_buffer_pool_size = 16M
# this is the default, increase it if you have lots of tables
innodb_additional_mem_pool_size = 2M
#
# i'd like to use /var/lib/mysql/innodb, but that is seen as a database :-(
# and upstream wants things to be under /var/lib/mysql/, so that's the route
# we have to take for the moment
#innodb_data_home_dir = /var/lib/mysql/
#innodb_log_arch_dir = /var/lib/mysql/
#innodb_log_group_home_dir = /var/lib/mysql/
# you may wish to change this size to be more suitable for your system
# the max is there to avoid run-away growth on your machine
innodb_data_file_path = ibdata1:10M:autoextend:max:128M
# we keep this at around 25% of of innodb_buffer_pool_size
# sensible values range from 1MB to (1/innodb_log_files_in_group*innodb_buffer_pool_size)
innodb_log_file_size = 5M
# this is the default, increase it if you have very large transactions going on
innodb_log_buffer_size = 8M
# this is the default and won't hurt you
# you shouldn't need to tweak it
# see the innodb config docs, the other options are not always safe
innodb_flush_log_at_trx_commit = 1
innodb_lock_wait_timeout = 50
#bind-address = 172.16.2.70

[mysqldump]
quick
max_allowed_packet = 16M

[mysql]
# uncomment the next directive if you are not familiar with SQL
#safe-updates

[isamchk]
key_buffer = 20M
sort_buffer_size = 20M
read_buffer = 2M
write_buffer = 2M

[myisamchk]
key_buffer = 20M
sort_buffer_size = 20M
read_buffer = 2M
write_buffer = 2M

[mysqlhotcopy]
interactive-timeout

netstat -ln

дай необходимые привилегии пользователю 'user'@'remote_host'

netstat -ln
Active Internet connections (only servers)
Proto Recv-Q Send-Q Local Address Foreign Address State
tcp 0 0 0.0.0.0:3306 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN
tcp 0 0 0.0.0.0:10000 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN
tcp 0 0 0.0.0.0:80 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN
tcp 0 0 0.0.0.0:22 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN
tcp 0 0 0.0.0.0:3128 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN
udp 0 0 0.0.0.0:32768 0.0.0.0:*
udp 0 0 0.0.0.0:10000 0.0.0.0:*
udp 0 0 0.0.0.0:3130 0.0.0.0:*
udp 0 0 0.0.0.0:500 0.0.0.0:*
Active UNIX domain sockets (only servers)
Proto RefCnt Flags Type State I-Node Path
unix 2 [ ACC ] STREAM LISTENING 2162226 /var/run/cgisock
unix 2 [ ACC ] STREAM LISTENING 2286241 /var/run/mysqld/mysqld.sock
unix 2 [ ACC ] STREAM LISTENING 7832 /dev/log

mysql -u root -p

use mysql;

insert into host values ('<host>','%','Y',[тут 8-10 игреков],'Y');

Добавь пользователя в таблицу user

http://www.mysql.ru/docs/instadm.html